🤑 BitMine’s New Boss: Ethereum’s Savior or Just Another Crypto Clown? 🤡

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Key Highlights (Or Should We Say, Lowlights?)

  • BitMine hires Chi Tsang as CEO, because apparently, the crypto world needed another hero. 🦸♂️
  • They’ve hoarded 3.5 million ETH, making them the biggest Ethereum whale in the pond. 🐳
  • Their stock’s drowning faster than a wizard in a rainstorm, thanks to the crypto market’s nosedive. 🌧️💸

BitMine Immersion Technologies, the self-proclaimed “future of finance,” announced on Friday that they’ve crowned Chi Tsang as their new CEO. Jonathan Bates, the former CEO, has been politely shown the door, presumably with a golden parachute made of ETH. 🪂✨

The news broke in Las Vegas, because where else would you announce a high-stakes gamble? The company claims this leadership shuffle will steer them through the Ethereum market’s rollercoaster ride. 🎢

🧵
BitMine is chuffed to bits about their new management and board appointments:

– New CEO, Chi Tsang (the man with the plan, allegedly)

3 independent board members:
– Rob Sechan @RobSechan, CEO of @NewEdgeWealth (the money wizard)
– Jason Edgeworth, CIO of JPD Holdings (the asset juggler)
– Olivia Howe, Chief Legal Officer of RigUp (the rulebook enforcer)

Together, they’ll either save the day or burn it all down. Stay tuned! 🎬

A Team with More Experience Than a Discworld Librarian

Tsang, who once spent a decade at HSBC (where he presumably learned the art of financial sorcery), founded the venture fund m1720. He reckons Ethereum’s boom is like the internet in the ’90s, but with more blockchain and fewer dial-up modems. 📞➡️🔗

“We’ve got enough ETH to buy a small country,” Tsang boasted. “Now let’s see if we can turn it into a financial empire without crashing and burning.” 🚀💥

New Board Members: The Good, the Wise, and the Legal

Joining the party are three new board members, each with more acronyms after their names than a Discworld footnote. Robert Sechan (NewEdge Capital), Olivia Howe (RigUp), and Jason Edgeworth (JPD Holdings) are here to bridge the gap between traditional finance and the Ethereum wild west. 🌉

Chairman Tom Lee (the trendspotter extraordinaire) said, “With this team, we’ll either revolutionize finance or accidentally summon a financial demon. Fingers crossed for the former!” 🤞

A Company with Bigger Plans Than a Troll’s Appetite

Former CEO Jonathan Bates (now presumably sipping piña coladas on a blockchain-funded beach 🏖️) said he’s “proud of the journey,” which is corporate speak for “I survived this long.”

New board member Robert Sechan gushed about Tom Lee’s trendspotting skills, Olivia Howe marveled at BitMine’s rise from obscurity, and Jason Edgeworth declared his unwavering faith in Tom’s plan. Because what’s a crypto story without a bit of blind optimism? 🌈

With 3.5 million ETH (worth a cool $12.4 billion), BitMine is now the biggest fish in the Ethereum pond. Let’s just hope they don’t get eaten by a bigger whale. 🐋

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2025-11-15 00:37