Ah, the fickle fortunes of the modern age! Behold, the Bitcoin miners, once the jesters of the financial realm, now crowned as the AI powerhouses of America! 🧙♂️✨ IREN, that clever rogue, hath secured a $9.7 billion pact with Microsoft, leaving us all in awe and amusement.
What folly hath the US government wrought, blocking Nvidia’s chips from China’s shores? Lo, it hath created a market most bifurcated, where crypto miners, with their power infrastructure, now dance to the tune of AI’s surging demand. 🎭⚡
Bitcoin Miners: A Tale of Transformation and Tomfoolery
Alas, the April 2024 halving event did strike a blow to mining’s profitability, leaving many a miner in despair. Yet, IREN, once Iris Energy, rose from the ashes like a phoenix, its stock soaring 580% after a strategic pivot. Riot Platforms, TeraWulf, and Cipher Mining followed suit, with gains of 100%, 160%, and 360% respectively. Truly, a comedy of comebacks! 📈🤡
Their 14 gigawatts of power capacity, a treasure trove of cooling systems and grid connections, hath proven most fortuitous. IREN’s Prince Rupert facility in Texas, now a jewel in Microsoft’s crown, boasts priority access to Nvidia’s GB300 GPUs. A match made in tech heaven, or so they say! 💍🔌
“The bitcoin mining industry,” quoth an anonymous blockchain sage, “doth demonstrate adaptability most remarkable, turning from crypto validation to high-performance computing with a flourish!” 🧙♂️📜
AI’s insatiable hunger for power and compute hath found its match in these erstwhile miners. A union of necessity, born of market whims and geopolitical caprices! 🤝⚙️
AI Companies Court Crypto’s Castoffs
Microsoft’s $9.7 billion embrace of IREN doth validate the strategic worth of crypto’s assets. IREN’s $5.8 billion GPU deal with Dell Technologies further cements its place in the AI pantheon. Amazon, too, hath joined the fray, courting miners with open arms. A trend most telling, and a sector most useful! 💸🤖
$IREN & $MSFT Deal, My Take
Arguably the best among all deals announced so far by peers… we didn’t have to give away Queen’s warrants or equity, we’ll have 20% of prepayments to discount on years 3-5, ie not before, Dell most likely finances a large part of the $5.8B in GPUs…
– 𝒰𝓂𝒷𝒾𝓈𝒶𝓂 (@Umbisam) November 3, 2025
AI’s haste, unmet by traditional data centers’ plodding pace, hath turned miners into knights of immediate availability. Their power contracts and operational prowess make them the darlings of this new era! 🛡️⚡
Geopolitical Shenanigans Favor the Domestic Miner
The US government’s ban on Nvidia’s Blackwell chips to China, announced amidst the Trump-Xi summit in Busan, hath created advantages most asymmetric. National security, they cry, while Nvidia’s Jensen Huang laments the loss of 95% market share. A tragedy for some, a boon for others! 🗡️🌏
BREAKING- Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang slammed U.S. export bans on AI chips to China, saying they wiped out Nvidia’s market share – “from 95% to 0%.” China will not loose but develop alternatives.
Trump is now destroying US companies & rebellion has started
– Megh Updates 🚨™ (@MeghUpdates) October 20, 2025
Chinese miners, beset by crypto regulations and hardware shortages, find themselves in a pickle, while their American counterparts thrive. A regulatory divergence most convenient, positioning US miners as the preferred partners for domestic tech giants! 🧅🇺🇸
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2025-11-04 05:38