Jim Cramer’s Crypto Meme: PARC or CRAP? 🤔💸🔥

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In a moment that could only occur in the fever-dream of a man who once called the moon a “decent investment,” Jim Cramer, that modern-day oracle of Wall Street, has taken to Twitter to propose a new acronym for the crypto age. It’s not FAANG, nor is it anything resembling coherence. It’s PARC—or perhaps CARP, depending on your mood and your tolerance for existential dread.

New meme acronym:
PARC– Palantir, Applovin, Robinhood and Coinbase (PARC)
v Coinbase, Applovin, Robinhood, Palantir (CARP) which should it be?? @SquawkStreet .

— Jim Cramer (@jimcramer) July 14, 2025

Cramer, the man who once turned the alphabet into a financial mantra with FAANG, now seems to be scribbling in the margins of a ledger that only he can read. One might assume he’s attempting to divine the future of crypto through the arcane art of rearranging letters. Or perhaps he’s simply bored and has nothing better to do than turn four companies into a word that rhymes with “crap.”

The choice between PARC and CARP is not merely academic—it is a philosophical dilemma. For while PARC may sound like a university, CARP is unmistakably the name of a fish, and also, in the right context, a very polite way of saying “you’ve just made a monumental mistake.”

The Rise of the Crypto Alphabet Soup

Coinbase, the digital equivalent of a goldfish in a bowl, has seen its stock rise by over 50% this year, much to the delight of investors and the confusion of everyone else. Robinhood, that sleek app that lets you trade stocks and crypto with the ease of a teenager texting their crush, is also doing well. Meanwhile, Palantir, the company that seems to exist in a parallel universe where data is both a weapon and a snack, is somehow still relevant. And Applovin, which I’m fairly certain is a typo for “Applovian,” is presumably just along for the ride.

Cramer’s sudden interest in crypto is as baffling as it is suspicious. After years of dismissing Bitcoin as “digital toilet paper,” he now appears to be floating a trial balloon to his followers, hoping they’ll take the bait and invest in something that is, at best, a volatile asset and, at worst, a digital version of a lemonade stand.

And yet, there he was on Monday, using a metaphor that rhymes with one of the top three cryptocurrencies by market value, XRP. “You don’t get a wave of deals out of nowhere,” he said. “You get a ripple, and then ever bigger waves. Right now, we’re in the ripple stage. That’s when it’s best to do some buying.”

“You don’t get a wave of deals out of nowhere. You get a ripple, and then ever bigger waves. Right now, we’re in the ripple stage. That’s when it’s best to do some buying.”

One can only hope that this ripple doesn’t turn into a tsunami of regret. Or worse, a wave of crypto that crashes into the shore of your portfolio and leaves nothing but sand and a few cents in your pocket.

The Inverse Cramer Phenomenon

Incidentally, at least two crypto news outlets have taken Cramer’s words and twisted them into something that sounds like a prophecy from a cult leader. One such outlet claimed that Cramer predicted Jamie Dimon, CEO of JPMorgan Chase, would “go all in on crypto.”

TODAY: Jim Cramer predicts JPMorgan Chase CEO, Jamie Dimon, will “go all in on crypto”.

— Altcoin Daily (@AltcoinDaily) July 14, 2025

What Cramer actually said was: “I’d like to be the bookie on when he goes all in on crypto.” In other words, he’s offering to take your money and bet that Jamie Dimon will eventually go all in on crypto. A generous offer, if you ask me. After all, who wouldn’t want to bet against a man who once called Bitcoin “a bubble” and then later found himself in a room with a bunch of people who looked like they were about to start a cult?

But here’s the kicker: by the power of Inverse Cramer, this prediction is now more likely to come true. Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned from Cramer’s career, it’s that he has a knack for making things happen—especially when he’s not directly involved.

So, as we watch the crypto market rise and fall like a yo-yo on a rollercoaster, we can only hope that Cramer’s latest acronym will be remembered not as a sign of genius, but as a cautionary tale. After all, even the greatest minds can be tripped up by a simple typo—or a poorly chosen word that rhymes with “crap.”

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2025-07-19 07:51